SPRING!?!

I am currently drinking some hot tea..and yes i thought about raising my pinky. Its yet another cold night, and i am nice and cozy here at home. My thoughts of the day: Keeping pressing forward, no matter how bad it hurts, no matter who tries to push you down, keep pressing forward. I am excited to see where God is going to place me, more than that, i am excited see what His plan is. I know that wherever i go, HE is always with me. :) He is the one i know that will never forsake me. :)

I have been thinking about graphic design lately..it seems like this could be something i could do a career in. No serious descions yet, but i will update when i know for sure if thats what i want to do. I hope spring comes sooon!!!!! like, really soon!!

Blizzard

um..

Well we are currently experiencing a "winter weather" vaca. And as you know, its not really snowing. Funny tho, it did snow for a little bit yesterday when i was at school. it was a cool moment. I assure you of this though, i am TIRED of being cold..like fo real. cant wait till summer comes around again.

I really have nothing interesting to say at this point..i was just bored. K bye!

:)

Being rebuilt

Cheers to all of the people who actually read this..you make my heart happy. HA!

School is starting back up tomorrow, and yeah, im that kid that wishes they could make up some excuse and not go...pretend like i am sick, cough cough. Nah, it should be an exciting, long, stressful, exilerating semester. Now that i got all of that negativity out the way..im sure it will be fine. more than anything, im just looking forward to seeing what God has for me and what doors He is going to open. Its a mystery to me!


One of my goals this year was to read Gods word everyday..and so i got these cool devotions set up on my iphone, and ya know, i really LOVE reading His word. He is showing me so much, i really cant grasp it all. What any other person would call a set of 'coinicidences', i find that is how God speaks to me the most through His word. I will read it, or think about a scripture, and somehow it will pop up through out the week...and there are multiple scriptures that come up. When that happens, it really feels me with joy, it lets me know God is watching out for me and speaking to me and reassuring me.

There were 2 main scriptures that stood out to me this week that i couldnt let go of. Here is one

Isaiah 58:12

Your perpetual ruins will be rebuilt, you will reestablish the ancient foundations. You will be called, "the one who repairs broken walls, the one who makes the streets inhabitable again".

one translation says, "you will rebuild the foundations from out of the past".

To be honest, ive kinda have a rough past..and im sure a lot of us have. Some people would not even think that God would use their past to build some new. But this scripture is encouraging because God says He will rebuild us, and we will be restored. i love it, and it is so encouraging to me as someone who has been through a few tough things in their life.

on a side note-i thought about me having a "rough life", and that seemed really selfish of me to say. I guess what i meant to say was that ive gone through some firey trials and temptations, but i know God uses them for the best.

Have a blessed day everyone..:)

Happy New Year

Hm, the new year has finally rolled in, its 2011 and great things are to be expected.
I started off the new year with no new year resolution, just like always. But i really felt like i was going to act and treat things differently. I know that i really want my yes's to be yes and my no's to no. no maybes, or almosts.

things that i would like to achieve this year:

-Get into Gods word on a daily basis, this has been a struggle for me.

-Get better at guitar, which means a lot of practicing.

-Just worship God more at home

-go on a picnic with someone special

-find new things to be passionate about

hmm, i will have to update this later...


I hope everyones new year was amazing! I am SO looking forward to seeing what God has in store. im letting go of 2010 and saying HELLo to 2011. yay! :)

if i could be so blount

I made a few bruises, ive broken a few bones, and made some cuts, but ive always gotten better. ive always healed, and stood back up. Lately, ive been trying to stand up again after a few bruises. Its left me wondering about myself and who i am, and who will i be. The truth is, i really dont have a clue. So where does that leave me now?

I wish there was an answer to the biggest mysteries of life sometimes, why did this happen the way it did. But i know that answer would change everything, so here i am keeping hold of the faith which drives me to keep moving forward.

we all have our weaknessess, and i certainly have mine. im not better than anyone else in this world, and i could feel the least in most cases. Most days, my weakness challenges me mind, body, and spirit, and sometimes it wins me over. But there is always a new day, where grace is sufficient in weakness.

i guess what im trying to say is, that i really want to move forward, sometimes even just walk away forever and never look back. Because somewhere down along the way, i got hit hard, i know its partially my fault. my weakness challenged me, and directed my direction, atmosphere, and surroundings.

God knows we are imperfect, He knows we fall, certainly way too many to count, for myself, atleast. How is God going to use this weakness of mine? I know it is the thorn that is always there, and i know i shall overcome it. but when and how.
I know that He is good, good to those who love Him, and i so dearly love my Father.
I cant really even believe that He loves me through the times ive turned my back.

so, where does this leave me? dont really know. But i know that He will use this weakness of mine somehow, someway. but until then...hmm...

try and worship with my life, what ive always done, what i always will do. No matter how many people, bruises, cuts, hurt, pain, confusion. I will get it one day. Its all ganna be alright.

HELLO there!

currently listening to some new music called Robbie Seay Band. LOVE them.

I finished up the last of my christmas shopping today! i am soo excited! i dont think ive ever been more excited about Christmas than now! i have been able to buy everyone everything or give someone something that was on my heart..with some left over!
I am just feeling SO thankful right now. I know i said before, but really, i am.
i love my friends and family! they are SO precious to me!

I hope that everyone has an amazing Christmas! love you all. :)

The Battle!

Im sitting here, finally enjoying some time off. i finished this semester with a bang, and i am very thankful. This week really challenged me and pushed me to keep going. With my dad in the hospital, and finals, and then getting the most horrible cold ever! I managed to get through it one day at a time, and i aced all of my finals except Psychology, i made a B. So i ended up making 5 A's and 1 B. i was and am very happy and thankful! i know that it was God who did it because He knew i really needed His strength this week!

Now i just done with a few Christmas cards listening to the Shane and Shane pandora station and i am just feeling really thankful right now! So thankful for His mercy in my life and for the wonderful people God has placed in my life. I am excited about this Christmas season and i want to do more than i have ever done.

I was also looking through some old stuff and i saw this scripture that is really poweful!

2 Chronicles 20:15

and He said, "Listen, all of you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, king Jehosaphat! Thus says the Lord to you:
'Do not be afraid nor dismayed because the great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but Gods.

WOW! this has been the scripture of the year for me. I have had to face a few battles in my life that i wanted to take care of my own terms, but it is never a battle that we must fight alone, God is our fighter and defender. He never ceases to amaze me! He has fought every battle for me and brought me through His timing and His wants.

Merry Early Christmas, (only 14 more days! ) Yippeeee

Rachel <3

Stronghold

Well, it is going to be one of those really crazy weeks. I have finals starting tuesday, and 5 at that. I have already begun to sort of study. thankfully, i have no tests tomorrow, so i can really take advantage of that time tomorrow to study also.

I guess the most impacting of my weekend has been that my dad had a heart attack. It was really scarey to hear, and honestly i have been really stressed about it all weekend. i am trying to depend on the Lord, but it definately isnt easy. I havent seen him in about a year or so, and he is living in south dakota, so i really cant see him. He will be in the hospital for about 2 weeks because he also has an infection on his leg from knee down. they are going to have to drain it and stuff..not pleasant. i saw the picture and its pretty bad. He is going to get the stint put in tuesday. So, if you dont mind, please pray for him and us. I dont know what is going to happend, because God is bigger plans that i could know. But i do know that God is faithful. But just pray for peace and strength in our family! it is greatly appreciated.

Psalm 9:9-10
The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
and those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, oh Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.




much love,
Rachel

Well, I am officially on my thanksgiving break and i have time to do nothing for once. I love that...
Life has been flying by lately, i havent really gotten a chance to smell the roses lately. But thank God for inventing Thanksgiving, if not, i would have gone insane by now. I went shopping today and got .5% of my christmas shopping done. As always, its the most wonderful time of the year. It is going to be a different year this year, but it always is every year. I am so thankful for everyone and everything in my life.
I really have not decided or found out what i want to graduate in yet..which is really really stressful for me, but im just taking it day by day. I am taking an intro to photography class next semester and i am super excited about it. I havent been excited about a class..in...well i think this is the first time. So maybe this is what God wants? who knows. I hate that i like photography cause it seems like its the really popular thing right now. I am certainly not doing it because everyone else is doing it, but i really genuily just like taking pictures. I actually imagine different scenarios in my weird brain of things to take pictures of sometimes.

As i get older, i start to see how artsy i really am, and how unlogical, mathematical, i am not. I belong in the music, singing, songwriting, artsy world. I have always been like that! no point in hiding it! :D

currently, i am listening to Brooke frasers new album, flags. Its pretty neato.

I am very thankful for all the awesome people i have met this semester as well. I feel like i was really in my box last semester, but God really opened the door for me to meet some awesome, godly people.

Christmas is just around the corner!

and i have been through the single commitment for almost 2 months now!! I am so proud, it hasnt been easy though, ill tell you that. But God has definately been teaching me a lot of stuff!

God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving!

Rachel Ray

A time for everything

God allows us to go through trials and temptations. I believe that He also never gives us anything we cannot handle. God is really bringing me through a hard time in my life, and it has constantly challenged me to depend and trust on Him alone. This time, I really can't understand how or why, but I know that I will come out better and more refined. I am thankful that His mercy is new every morning, ready for me to take complete hold of. I know that the more I give, the more i will receive. So I pray and encourage you that yu aren't alone in this fight. God has a beautiful purpose and we will come out stronger than ever. God has some great things in store, but we are going to have to get rid of ourselves. This is worship. Lets worship with our lives. :) thanks for reading and God bless. :)

What faith produces

God has really been teaching me a lot about brokenness these past 5 or 6 months. I think after i got out of my last relationship, God kind of opened Himself up to me in a whole new way, and also revealed myself to ..well myself in a way that i never knew. He has been taking the really messy, ugly parts and just throwing them on the table for me to look at. It is definitely not an easy process, but deep down, it is my prayer that God would refine me everyday, no matter what the cost. I am definitely feeling the Refiners fire and have been for a few months now. but i know that God is faithful. If i can count on one thing, its that God loves me and that He is for me. I can honestly say that i am thankful for the brokenness that God has given me lately, because i know it produces righteousness. I have been taking comfort a few nights in a row by just running outside and gazing at the stars. I have gotten the understanding that not everything has to be understood, but just knowing that God in all His might sees me, loves me, and has a wonderful plan. I cant wait to see what God has in store. For those of you who are going through any kind of brokenness, just know that God is for you, because He is your maker. one day everything will make sense, but we must fight the good fight and endure the race with faith. Because faith produces patience.

We the grain

Well, as of now i am studying for psychology and english midterms. I figure the only way to stay sane is to drink coffee and blog. So here we go-
I went to the selu bcm this past thursday night, and God really challenged me. He was talking about because of Christs death and His glorfication, we are glorified and resurrected through Him. When John or some one told Jesus that He would never taste death, Jesus rebuked him. Because without Christs death, we would all be sent to hell. Yes i already knew that, but i was reminded of its great importance. But that wasnt even what hit me.

John 12:23-25
But Jesus answered them, saying, "The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified.
"Most assuredly i say, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it produces much grain.
He who loves his life will lose it, and he hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life".


we must die to ourselves, to our dreams, ambitions, and life goals. that means everything, even wanting to be a worship leader and traveling around the world. We have to surrender and realize that if we look at what we want, we will never experience the fullness of what God wants, and HIS WANT is a BILLION times better. Us humans, including myself can be so small minded, but we bear much fruit if we die first. Because literally, a piece of grain falls to the ground, dies, and turned upside down, then begins to grow, and eventually brings forth fruit. We are the grain, and we must die, so that we can truly live.

two things

Few things on my mind tonight:

One, that God is so amazing. I have experience Him on such an incredible and intimate level this week during worship. Just the fact of understanding that Gods holiness is inside of me is overwhelming. That because of Him, i am sanctified and redeemed. Heaven lives inside of me. It really just shook everything inside of me this week, shook it to the core. And just that He loves me, above all. So high of a God would be trampled and die for ME?! insane! and it truly does break my heart and i am so thankful beyonnd words.

two: that i am extremely exhausted. When i get really tired, i want to cry, and i have been wanting to cry all week. I guess school and my responsibilities are taking a toll on me, but i am thankful that we got 2 days off. It is also hard to keep it all together sometimes and give give give. I know i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I know He is my rest. if you have nothing else to do, just say a quick prayer for me for strength and energy!

other than that, life is great. i cant complain. God blesses me endlessly. i pray for new things, new experiences, and new friendships. i love Him and he is really starting to break me for what breaks His, and ill tell you, sometimes it isnt easy.

In Christ and worship,
Rachel

comittment

Well..
This is weekend was great! I got to spend time with my sister Sarah! We spent the beautiful day getting sushi at Tiger Sushi and then going to the new outlet of platos closet! i got me a nice Ralph Lauren shirt that i cant WAIT to wear! I loved it cause we just got to be with each other and hang! Time can get in way so much and i hate it!



It was really cool to just worship the Lord during practice this past sunday morning. I really felt the presence of God and i love how He moves through me. He is such a faithful and powerful God.

same faithful God!

i really do believe God is beginning/already has been doing something awesome in the community of central. I can just see His fire growing in churches all over the place, it is truly incredible. Personally, i can see God working in our church in such a mighty way. Our worship team is growing spiritually and our relationships with one another have also been growing. God provided us with a new sound system also and it sounds incredible, so much difference. I just feel so blessed to be part of the ministry there, it is truly want i want to do with the rest of my life. I went to cornerstone tonight and they had the most incredible worship. Their passion for God and their generation is inspiring. I have gotten the privelege to meet a bunch of the college kids and make new friends there. The last song they did was a song they did in kids camp. i just filled me with joy to see everyone dancing and singing with no chains. I love that passion and left so encouraged. God is really doing something in that church and its awesome. in my life personally, i really feel like God is bringing me through something new as well. Brand new season, new challenge, same faithful God. im pretty excited, it definately isnt going to be easy, but i got a good feelin about this one. HE is going to give me a car< I KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Without Faith

So, i was on the way to zachary to play volleyball with some friends and was going off of memory from like a month or so ago. It was kinda easy at first until i didnt know what neighborhood to turn into. i ended up going all the way down the wrong road and then going way down this other road that had barely any houses. im just glad it wasnt at night..
but finally i turned on the right now that i didnt know at the time and i was kinda getting scared at that point. I saw the road and was like why not, maybe it does sound familiar because im pretty much desperate anyway. Then i prayed that God would show me where to go...about 10 sec later i see it on the right...i sighed with relief.

i was thinking about how our lives are often the same. We try our best to go the way we think we know but it ends up being the wrong way. You begin to listen to the voice of God and turn in the direction with faith and maybe a little brokeness.
Sometimes it takes a few wrong turns, but eventually you are going to get there, but only if you have faith. Because this life requires faith, especially when you have no idea where you are going. He will lead us, even though it might be a little scarey, because i was definately getting scared.

Im even kinda scared right now because i know WHERE i want to go, but how do i get there is the question. my answer to that is simple, have faith and believe He really will lead me into His promises. Without faith it truly is impossible to please God...
im seeing more and more that i need to have more faith in the God of the universe. And im not even talking about finding the right house, i think there is obviously a bigger picture there. i hope im never too stubborn to finally ask God for direction...i bet that could have saved me a lot of time and getting lost.

Beautiful Conference and everything else

Had a great time at the Beautiful conference with my favorite worship leader Kari Jobe and speaker Angela Thomas. It was truly an encouragement to hear them both. I got a lot out of the conference, but i left thinking, yup, leading worship is truly what my heart desires to do. I want to lead people in the presence of God for the rest of my life and pour out my soul and heart to those who need Him. I pray that Gods will would be done in my life. I keep thinking today, "Gods will is better than my will". Is it true. He knows better than i know, so i need to trust Him. even if that means me doing something that i dont necessarily want to do right now. Like going to school at selu, lol. sometimes i do, but i was asked the question a few days ago, "If you were completely submitted to Gods will right now, what do you think He would ask you to do'?
I didnt know what to say at first, but now that i think about it more, my answer would be bible school. I would love to have a ministeral degree under my belt but i dont know if thats what God wants, He really hasnt opened a door for me in that area yet.

i did start school last wednesday. wow, is really all i can say. I am taking a lot of classes. 9 to be exact. It is my sophomore year and i am already freaking out, but wouldnt you?
my major is now gen. studies with a concentration in music..so im taking a lot of hard classes, including theory.

Honestly, i am never been more afraid so soon in my life. So like me, huh? it was my third day and im already thinking i cant do this. Such non sense i know! but im already lost in my class, and they say it is just going to get worse. I really dont want to be negative, i want to have faith in believe in God in this situation. So i am going to work as hard as i can for as long as i can.

I know that God is my lamp, and the thing about a lamp is, it doesnt light your whole path, just a little bit at a time to take each step. thats how God works in my life. i only get to see a little at a time.

I look back 2 years from now and never would have thought i would be here. But i know His will is greater than mine, He knows me inside and out, and dreamed me up before i was even created. He knows what is perfect for me. i am so thankful for a God who dreams for me. He is so beautiful. Thank you Lord!

I will lay down my fears, my dreams, and everything else to the One who died and gave His all for me. He is the only One who is worthy, yes He is worthy.

Paint Day!

i had a wonderful day with Renee, Aimie, and my new friend Nina painting! It was my first time to paint on a canvas so i was pretty nervous about it...but i think it turned good! i am VERY proud of it...lol. I think i am going to do it more often! I call it "Cherry Blossom"

I also went out to eat with some good friends, Kelsey and Rachel M. and ate greek and lebanese at Cafe Phonecias. it was excellente! Afterwards, we watched one of my favorite movies, pride and prejudice! it is such a sweet movie and it gets me everytime! i am looking forward to the worship team get together tomorrow night! its going to be an awesome jam session!

"love is waiting"

So..ive been listening to Brooker Frasers Albertine cd lady and im really diggin it. i really like this song a lot because to me it about just waiting on God and HIS perfect timing for the right person. i dont have to fret or be afraid, but just wait and be patient before the Lord. When people pass by who are in love i know that all that matters right now is that i am in love...with my Abba Father. I dont think about this all of time, i just thought was a really cool song. Brooke Fraser is such an awesome song writer!!!
Proverbs 31:30 peeps! be encouraged God is always faithful and good.


in the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
i was watch as lovers pass me by
walking stories-whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
when its time to walk that way we wanna walk it well


ill be waiting for you baby
ill be holding back the darkest night
love is waiting till we're ready, til its right
Love is waiting

its my caution not the cold
theres no hand id rather hold
the climate changes, im singing for the strangers about you
dont keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can

Wedding-ness!

I love these girls. =)

Jennifers and Kirby's wedding was last night! it was absolutely extravagant on so many levels. It was so holy and pure and annoited. I dream that my wedding will be like that, that Gods presence would be so strong when i get married to the right one! But anyways, everything was just very pretty. And jennifer was so beautiful. i took a few pictures! The gym was also done very well. There were soo many people. Atleast 500 people, maybe even more. My whole sanctuary filled up.

Church this morning was also amazing. Gods presence was SO strong. I asked God to give me a new experience with Him this morning and He sure did! i have never felt Him like i did this morning. I was leading worship and i could barely sing because how awestruck i was with Him. In life i believe there are special moments that we never forget. today was one of them. I pray i get will more of those awestruck moments with Him.

The Doctorians came to the service because of Jens wedding. Can i just say there are an amazing family, all of them, including the workmans. I can just see God all over them. That is another reason why i thought the wedding was so special.

Luther preached a good message and i got the opportunity for him to pray for me. As soon as i saw him he said he saw Jesus in me. that was really encouraging me. He prayed for me and told me that because i had faith to believe what i wanted, that i would get it. That God was going to use me for many people and to change their lives. I am very thankful for that encouragement. God is so good to those who seek His face.