Monday, February 15, 2010
Valentines Day
I had an amazing zing time with jonathan for valentines day. I am just so deeply in love with him and am so thankful God put him in my life. Yesterday was just a night i will never forget, it was so awesome. I woke up to find a giant teddy bear and guitar hero (world tour) in my car, and sticky notes on my steering wheel. It was the perfect thing to wake up to before i went to church! Then he came over and gave me the most beautiful pink roses and a card surprising me to going to tsnami's. AWESOME! he even made me a "Rachel love" cd to listen to on the way to lafeyette. It was so romantic...he looked so amazing. He had this mysterious look in his eyes that made me melt. i cant stop thinking about it and how i feel. then we went to his house afterwards and watched the movie "Paul Blart Mall Cop", it was our first movie date one year ago on valentines day! I pray that this is who God has for me, that its not just something, because after last night, my heart melted forever! lol. i am trusting God and so thankful...even though life is still really confusing right now, i know He will work it out. He always has...despite any circumstance in my life, EVERYTHING has worked out good for me. I thank God for how awsesome He is in my life, i pray that He would consume me from the inside out. I pray my love will grow deeper and deeper for him!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Passion 2010
Well, i just got back from the Passion Conference 2010. It was truly an amazing experience. I pray that God will continue to work in my life as He always is and that this passionate fire does not go out.
I am struggling tonight, just in the aspect that it is hard going back into the real world. It felt so encouraging to be surrounded by real love and Christ-like people, and then you come back home, and it hits you with a ton of bricks. I didnt realize it would be this hard. Im still struggling in a few things in my life, but my heart feels so much different. I was awakened to Gods glory this weekend and how much He is completely centered in everything. It was really hard for me to understand, but i am so thankful that i now am grasping it. Everything was created for God and in Him. That means my life is not about....myself........but about God and bringing glory to His name. That means that everything I DO, must and will reflect Christ in me, because He is in me, and He is changing me into the image of His son. I believe i found one of mystery's of God this weekend that many will never understand. I want to be a light in the word, inspite of anguish and suffering like Paul went through, i want that. i want to be put in the pit. Jesus was so giving and loving because He is God. Though He was part human, He was and is also God. Paul obviously struggled a lot more because he was full human. And that is where we are all now today. In Pauls shoes, battling the flesh, but conquering sin through Jesus. He lived a life of selflessness and He would even trade his soul for others to go to heaven........that is so...selfless. i could never do that. ever. ever. ever. I do NOT EVER want to be separated from Jesus my King.
God did a lot in my life, and now that i am awakened to a new life, i am ready to share His love to everyone. My goal is to have these words stuck in my soul, to be these things, so that when i die, i will have fulfilled it.
Loving, Selfless, giving, forgiving, confident in Christ, joyful, bold, pure, and a woman with integrity.
I am struggling tonight, just in the aspect that it is hard going back into the real world. It felt so encouraging to be surrounded by real love and Christ-like people, and then you come back home, and it hits you with a ton of bricks. I didnt realize it would be this hard. Im still struggling in a few things in my life, but my heart feels so much different. I was awakened to Gods glory this weekend and how much He is completely centered in everything. It was really hard for me to understand, but i am so thankful that i now am grasping it. Everything was created for God and in Him. That means my life is not about....myself........but about God and bringing glory to His name. That means that everything I DO, must and will reflect Christ in me, because He is in me, and He is changing me into the image of His son. I believe i found one of mystery's of God this weekend that many will never understand. I want to be a light in the word, inspite of anguish and suffering like Paul went through, i want that. i want to be put in the pit. Jesus was so giving and loving because He is God. Though He was part human, He was and is also God. Paul obviously struggled a lot more because he was full human. And that is where we are all now today. In Pauls shoes, battling the flesh, but conquering sin through Jesus. He lived a life of selflessness and He would even trade his soul for others to go to heaven........that is so...selfless. i could never do that. ever. ever. ever. I do NOT EVER want to be separated from Jesus my King.
God did a lot in my life, and now that i am awakened to a new life, i am ready to share His love to everyone. My goal is to have these words stuck in my soul, to be these things, so that when i die, i will have fulfilled it.
Loving, Selfless, giving, forgiving, confident in Christ, joyful, bold, pure, and a woman with integrity.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas time
It is currently 2:10 am on Christmas Eve and i am NOT sleeping like i should be. I dont know if its the excitement that Christmas is almost here, or the fact that i just cant sleep. i guess its both. :), i kind of enjoy staying up and thinking about life and nothing at the same time, but worried because tomorrow is going to be a long, but very fun day indeed. Tomorrows agenda consists of me waking up earlier than usual and taking a shower, finding a nice outfit, and going to jonathans house to go to Addis for Christmas eve service that we are singing at. I am pretty excited, to because i get to spend Christmas eve with him and his family. we are exchanging gifts after the christmas eve service and eating fried fish!! yummy! i keep thinking that he wont like my present, but oh well. I got him this book called :Mere Christianity: and i also got his season 5 of House. atleast i know i will like that present, haha. but anyway. Life is good, im enjoying this nice break from school.
Passion conference in Georgia is less than 2 weeks away...im so excited!!! so many christian artists i love will be there, such as Hillsong United, Fee, Charlie Hall, Kristian Stanfill, David Crowder, and etc. God is really going to move! Pastor Terry gave me some money to buy merch and food on the way over there, so that was a blessing.
A few weeks ago, we had to put bonnie down. It was so sad, and it was really hard for me to deal with, esp during finals week. i really thought i had it all together when it all just sort of hit me and i cried for about 3 days. I miss her a lot, but i know that she would have been hurting. I hope there is a dog heaven out there, i really want to believe there is, but i dont know. It seems like a childish thing to think and wish for, but i really hope there is. I think pets are gifts from God, they give so much joy to our lives.
Well, im trying to live each day, day by day and not think about the future as much. Sometimes it is really hard not to though. I ask God to give me patience is certain areas of my life, and as a young woman, its something that i have to fight for all of the time. Every girl wants that dream, and i dont want to get ahead of the ball game. Ive always wanted to get married young, but i know thats not what God wants for me right now, everything isnt right right now. I just keep praying for patience and He is giving it to me. I am so thankful for a loving God. right now, i am happy just being with jonthan and pursuing God in everything that He is. He is so good to me.
Passion conference in Georgia is less than 2 weeks away...im so excited!!! so many christian artists i love will be there, such as Hillsong United, Fee, Charlie Hall, Kristian Stanfill, David Crowder, and etc. God is really going to move! Pastor Terry gave me some money to buy merch and food on the way over there, so that was a blessing.
A few weeks ago, we had to put bonnie down. It was so sad, and it was really hard for me to deal with, esp during finals week. i really thought i had it all together when it all just sort of hit me and i cried for about 3 days. I miss her a lot, but i know that she would have been hurting. I hope there is a dog heaven out there, i really want to believe there is, but i dont know. It seems like a childish thing to think and wish for, but i really hope there is. I think pets are gifts from God, they give so much joy to our lives.
Well, im trying to live each day, day by day and not think about the future as much. Sometimes it is really hard not to though. I ask God to give me patience is certain areas of my life, and as a young woman, its something that i have to fight for all of the time. Every girl wants that dream, and i dont want to get ahead of the ball game. Ive always wanted to get married young, but i know thats not what God wants for me right now, everything isnt right right now. I just keep praying for patience and He is giving it to me. I am so thankful for a loving God. right now, i am happy just being with jonthan and pursuing God in everything that He is. He is so good to me.
Friday, November 27, 2009
So tired..
Im not doing too good today....everything in my life seems so out of order, and I cant find peace. im trying to fight it off, but i cant. there seems to be no escape. right now, i am in the pit, and i want out. Right now, all i want is to talk to someone i really care about, but no, i cant even do that. im so confused about so much stuff. i cant make sense out of anything. God please help me! I know God is my shield, He is literally the only one i trust right now. everyone else just fails me, over, and over again. well not everyone, but just a few. i tired of being hurt, i just want rest. God gives rest to those who are weary. I know my God will bring me through, He always does. I pray that He would set me in the right direction..im so tired of fighting, i just want to give up.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Reckless Abandonment
So, life is good at the moment. i am still very happy with what is going on, wholey anways. sp?
i had a good night with my mom. we hardly get to spend time with each other these days, and i had this brilliant plan of taking her out. we ended up going to Sammy's Grill. DELISH! lol, great time. we went up there, and there were sooo many people waiting in line, we were very reluctant, but we thought why not? the lady at the desk said it would be about 45 mintues, until we got our plate. I thought,ok, ill try and be patient. so we go outside with our buzzer, and literally 1 minute later, it started buzzing and we were seated at our table. WOW! thats definately Gods grace in favor in my life...He is so awesome, even in the little things.
A lady from my church committed suicide thursday morning. it was very sad. She had been battling Lukiemia, and was chemically inbalanced. i feel so sorry for her and her family. i know its so rough, esp. from someone from your church. i just pray that Gods grace is on her life. Only God knows and sees the heart of His children.
. I dont know why or how i deserve it, but God did it. and i am so thankful and broken because of it. all because im giving my talents and time to Him, He is honoring me for it. I love God and all i want to do is please the Lord. Id give up everything....well i would hope i would. sometimes its not easy. Kirby preached about what would you give to see and be in Gods presence and glory...then he asked, why arent you giving it up now. i pray i do recklessly abandon everything for Him to please Him. nothing is better than who God is. He is everything, so i must give everything. He is my romance and I am His.
Look at the way the flowers bloom for YouThey want to show You their beauty LordRunning waters dance, You and I romanceChorus:Unto You be all the glory.Unto You be all the glory (repeat)Bridge:The angels dance around YouThe earth it sings about YouOpen up the heavens LordLet Your Kingdom come to earthmy praises all surround youmy soul can't dance without youopen up the heavens Lordlet Your kingdom come to earth
i had a good night with my mom. we hardly get to spend time with each other these days, and i had this brilliant plan of taking her out. we ended up going to Sammy's Grill. DELISH! lol, great time. we went up there, and there were sooo many people waiting in line, we were very reluctant, but we thought why not? the lady at the desk said it would be about 45 mintues, until we got our plate. I thought,ok, ill try and be patient. so we go outside with our buzzer, and literally 1 minute later, it started buzzing and we were seated at our table. WOW! thats definately Gods grace in favor in my life...He is so awesome, even in the little things.
A lady from my church committed suicide thursday morning. it was very sad. She had been battling Lukiemia, and was chemically inbalanced. i feel so sorry for her and her family. i know its so rough, esp. from someone from your church. i just pray that Gods grace is on her life. Only God knows and sees the heart of His children.
. I dont know why or how i deserve it, but God did it. and i am so thankful and broken because of it. all because im giving my talents and time to Him, He is honoring me for it. I love God and all i want to do is please the Lord. Id give up everything....well i would hope i would. sometimes its not easy. Kirby preached about what would you give to see and be in Gods presence and glory...then he asked, why arent you giving it up now. i pray i do recklessly abandon everything for Him to please Him. nothing is better than who God is. He is everything, so i must give everything. He is my romance and I am His.
Look at the way the flowers bloom for YouThey want to show You their beauty LordRunning waters dance, You and I romanceChorus:Unto You be all the glory.Unto You be all the glory (repeat)Bridge:The angels dance around YouThe earth it sings about YouOpen up the heavens LordLet Your Kingdom come to earthmy praises all surround youmy soul can't dance without youopen up the heavens Lordlet Your kingdom come to earth
Monday, September 21, 2009
My Healer
Im so in love with Jesus. He is my Savior, my Everything, My healer. I just want to testify about how amazing He is. He is the one i put my trust in the most, and i cant even see Him. Although life and the future seems unreal and impossible, My heart and spirit say everything is in control, and i know that is Gods spirit living in me. My flesh wants logic and my spirit yearns for patience and trust. I desire to become like my Jesus that i may glorify Him to bring others to Him. He deserves my life, my all.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Rollercoaster
I have a lot on my mind at the moment. I hate how us girls have to deal with being an emotional rollercoaster all the time while the guys just lay back and relax. i wish for once i wouldnt freak out about everything. I am content and yet in some ways im nervous and scared. Scared about the future in all aspects, but excited in the next. I have figured out today and many times before that i am the girl that constantly needs to be reassured. Its sad, but true. Maybe its because of the events taken place in my life, but without that reassurance, i feel like everything has changed. God is ultimately the only one who reassures me that everything is going to be ok. i need to hear that from a person though, right now, at this moment. but, i hold my feelings in once again and just type it out, it usually helps. I hate having feeling of doubt and whatnot, and i know thats the devil trying to drag me down.
God is faithful, God is good, He is always good. His love endures forever, and He will never leave me. On a good note, I really got broken last night after i left jonathans house last night. I dont know why, but i just began to cry on the way home. A hunger inside of me has been building up to just cry and pray before the Lord and seek His face. i did last night, and it felt so good. I just want to please my Father so bad, it would break me to know i wasnt doing what He wanted me to do. I prayed for answers and an open door. There are so many things that are hidden away that only God can see, and He knows im relying on Him to make it all work out. I prayed for an open door and grace, and He gave it to me the next morning. I cant really say right now, but the whole day at work i was expecting something to happen, an open door to arrive, and well, it did.
I didnt realize it until after i got home though, it just sort of hit me. I love it when that happens.
but yeah, i will see where this takes me.
Me and jonathan are still going strong, we've been dating for 6th months now! im a happy girl and i think he s a happy guy. haha. I dont know what to say execpt that he makes me happy. I still want to know and understand him more than i do now. it just seems like there is no time sometimes though. people are always around somehow, it would be nice to just get away and walk in a park and just talk. thats what i want right now, someone to talk to. gosh i sound depressing!! sorry, didnt mean to! its that emotional rollercoaster!!
well im tired, gotta wake up at 5 20 am! :(
God is faithful, God is good, He is always good. His love endures forever, and He will never leave me. On a good note, I really got broken last night after i left jonathans house last night. I dont know why, but i just began to cry on the way home. A hunger inside of me has been building up to just cry and pray before the Lord and seek His face. i did last night, and it felt so good. I just want to please my Father so bad, it would break me to know i wasnt doing what He wanted me to do. I prayed for answers and an open door. There are so many things that are hidden away that only God can see, and He knows im relying on Him to make it all work out. I prayed for an open door and grace, and He gave it to me the next morning. I cant really say right now, but the whole day at work i was expecting something to happen, an open door to arrive, and well, it did.
I didnt realize it until after i got home though, it just sort of hit me. I love it when that happens.
but yeah, i will see where this takes me.
Me and jonathan are still going strong, we've been dating for 6th months now! im a happy girl and i think he s a happy guy. haha. I dont know what to say execpt that he makes me happy. I still want to know and understand him more than i do now. it just seems like there is no time sometimes though. people are always around somehow, it would be nice to just get away and walk in a park and just talk. thats what i want right now, someone to talk to. gosh i sound depressing!! sorry, didnt mean to! its that emotional rollercoaster!!
well im tired, gotta wake up at 5 20 am! :(
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