We the grain

Well, as of now i am studying for psychology and english midterms. I figure the only way to stay sane is to drink coffee and blog. So here we go-
I went to the selu bcm this past thursday night, and God really challenged me. He was talking about because of Christs death and His glorfication, we are glorified and resurrected through Him. When John or some one told Jesus that He would never taste death, Jesus rebuked him. Because without Christs death, we would all be sent to hell. Yes i already knew that, but i was reminded of its great importance. But that wasnt even what hit me.

John 12:23-25
But Jesus answered them, saying, "The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified.
"Most assuredly i say, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it produces much grain.
He who loves his life will lose it, and he hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life".


we must die to ourselves, to our dreams, ambitions, and life goals. that means everything, even wanting to be a worship leader and traveling around the world. We have to surrender and realize that if we look at what we want, we will never experience the fullness of what God wants, and HIS WANT is a BILLION times better. Us humans, including myself can be so small minded, but we bear much fruit if we die first. Because literally, a piece of grain falls to the ground, dies, and turned upside down, then begins to grow, and eventually brings forth fruit. We are the grain, and we must die, so that we can truly live.

two things

Few things on my mind tonight:

One, that God is so amazing. I have experience Him on such an incredible and intimate level this week during worship. Just the fact of understanding that Gods holiness is inside of me is overwhelming. That because of Him, i am sanctified and redeemed. Heaven lives inside of me. It really just shook everything inside of me this week, shook it to the core. And just that He loves me, above all. So high of a God would be trampled and die for ME?! insane! and it truly does break my heart and i am so thankful beyonnd words.

two: that i am extremely exhausted. When i get really tired, i want to cry, and i have been wanting to cry all week. I guess school and my responsibilities are taking a toll on me, but i am thankful that we got 2 days off. It is also hard to keep it all together sometimes and give give give. I know i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I know He is my rest. if you have nothing else to do, just say a quick prayer for me for strength and energy!

other than that, life is great. i cant complain. God blesses me endlessly. i pray for new things, new experiences, and new friendships. i love Him and he is really starting to break me for what breaks His, and ill tell you, sometimes it isnt easy.

In Christ and worship,
Rachel

comittment

Well..
This is weekend was great! I got to spend time with my sister Sarah! We spent the beautiful day getting sushi at Tiger Sushi and then going to the new outlet of platos closet! i got me a nice Ralph Lauren shirt that i cant WAIT to wear! I loved it cause we just got to be with each other and hang! Time can get in way so much and i hate it!



It was really cool to just worship the Lord during practice this past sunday morning. I really felt the presence of God and i love how He moves through me. He is such a faithful and powerful God.

same faithful God!

i really do believe God is beginning/already has been doing something awesome in the community of central. I can just see His fire growing in churches all over the place, it is truly incredible. Personally, i can see God working in our church in such a mighty way. Our worship team is growing spiritually and our relationships with one another have also been growing. God provided us with a new sound system also and it sounds incredible, so much difference. I just feel so blessed to be part of the ministry there, it is truly want i want to do with the rest of my life. I went to cornerstone tonight and they had the most incredible worship. Their passion for God and their generation is inspiring. I have gotten the privelege to meet a bunch of the college kids and make new friends there. The last song they did was a song they did in kids camp. i just filled me with joy to see everyone dancing and singing with no chains. I love that passion and left so encouraged. God is really doing something in that church and its awesome. in my life personally, i really feel like God is bringing me through something new as well. Brand new season, new challenge, same faithful God. im pretty excited, it definately isnt going to be easy, but i got a good feelin about this one. HE is going to give me a car< I KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Without Faith

So, i was on the way to zachary to play volleyball with some friends and was going off of memory from like a month or so ago. It was kinda easy at first until i didnt know what neighborhood to turn into. i ended up going all the way down the wrong road and then going way down this other road that had barely any houses. im just glad it wasnt at night..
but finally i turned on the right now that i didnt know at the time and i was kinda getting scared at that point. I saw the road and was like why not, maybe it does sound familiar because im pretty much desperate anyway. Then i prayed that God would show me where to go...about 10 sec later i see it on the right...i sighed with relief.

i was thinking about how our lives are often the same. We try our best to go the way we think we know but it ends up being the wrong way. You begin to listen to the voice of God and turn in the direction with faith and maybe a little brokeness.
Sometimes it takes a few wrong turns, but eventually you are going to get there, but only if you have faith. Because this life requires faith, especially when you have no idea where you are going. He will lead us, even though it might be a little scarey, because i was definately getting scared.

Im even kinda scared right now because i know WHERE i want to go, but how do i get there is the question. my answer to that is simple, have faith and believe He really will lead me into His promises. Without faith it truly is impossible to please God...
im seeing more and more that i need to have more faith in the God of the universe. And im not even talking about finding the right house, i think there is obviously a bigger picture there. i hope im never too stubborn to finally ask God for direction...i bet that could have saved me a lot of time and getting lost.

Beautiful Conference and everything else

Had a great time at the Beautiful conference with my favorite worship leader Kari Jobe and speaker Angela Thomas. It was truly an encouragement to hear them both. I got a lot out of the conference, but i left thinking, yup, leading worship is truly what my heart desires to do. I want to lead people in the presence of God for the rest of my life and pour out my soul and heart to those who need Him. I pray that Gods will would be done in my life. I keep thinking today, "Gods will is better than my will". Is it true. He knows better than i know, so i need to trust Him. even if that means me doing something that i dont necessarily want to do right now. Like going to school at selu, lol. sometimes i do, but i was asked the question a few days ago, "If you were completely submitted to Gods will right now, what do you think He would ask you to do'?
I didnt know what to say at first, but now that i think about it more, my answer would be bible school. I would love to have a ministeral degree under my belt but i dont know if thats what God wants, He really hasnt opened a door for me in that area yet.

i did start school last wednesday. wow, is really all i can say. I am taking a lot of classes. 9 to be exact. It is my sophomore year and i am already freaking out, but wouldnt you?
my major is now gen. studies with a concentration in music..so im taking a lot of hard classes, including theory.

Honestly, i am never been more afraid so soon in my life. So like me, huh? it was my third day and im already thinking i cant do this. Such non sense i know! but im already lost in my class, and they say it is just going to get worse. I really dont want to be negative, i want to have faith in believe in God in this situation. So i am going to work as hard as i can for as long as i can.

I know that God is my lamp, and the thing about a lamp is, it doesnt light your whole path, just a little bit at a time to take each step. thats how God works in my life. i only get to see a little at a time.

I look back 2 years from now and never would have thought i would be here. But i know His will is greater than mine, He knows me inside and out, and dreamed me up before i was even created. He knows what is perfect for me. i am so thankful for a God who dreams for me. He is so beautiful. Thank you Lord!

I will lay down my fears, my dreams, and everything else to the One who died and gave His all for me. He is the only One who is worthy, yes He is worthy.

Paint Day!

i had a wonderful day with Renee, Aimie, and my new friend Nina painting! It was my first time to paint on a canvas so i was pretty nervous about it...but i think it turned good! i am VERY proud of it...lol. I think i am going to do it more often! I call it "Cherry Blossom"

I also went out to eat with some good friends, Kelsey and Rachel M. and ate greek and lebanese at Cafe Phonecias. it was excellente! Afterwards, we watched one of my favorite movies, pride and prejudice! it is such a sweet movie and it gets me everytime! i am looking forward to the worship team get together tomorrow night! its going to be an awesome jam session!