if i could be so blount

I made a few bruises, ive broken a few bones, and made some cuts, but ive always gotten better. ive always healed, and stood back up. Lately, ive been trying to stand up again after a few bruises. Its left me wondering about myself and who i am, and who will i be. The truth is, i really dont have a clue. So where does that leave me now?

I wish there was an answer to the biggest mysteries of life sometimes, why did this happen the way it did. But i know that answer would change everything, so here i am keeping hold of the faith which drives me to keep moving forward.

we all have our weaknessess, and i certainly have mine. im not better than anyone else in this world, and i could feel the least in most cases. Most days, my weakness challenges me mind, body, and spirit, and sometimes it wins me over. But there is always a new day, where grace is sufficient in weakness.

i guess what im trying to say is, that i really want to move forward, sometimes even just walk away forever and never look back. Because somewhere down along the way, i got hit hard, i know its partially my fault. my weakness challenged me, and directed my direction, atmosphere, and surroundings.

God knows we are imperfect, He knows we fall, certainly way too many to count, for myself, atleast. How is God going to use this weakness of mine? I know it is the thorn that is always there, and i know i shall overcome it. but when and how.
I know that He is good, good to those who love Him, and i so dearly love my Father.
I cant really even believe that He loves me through the times ive turned my back.

so, where does this leave me? dont really know. But i know that He will use this weakness of mine somehow, someway. but until then...hmm...

try and worship with my life, what ive always done, what i always will do. No matter how many people, bruises, cuts, hurt, pain, confusion. I will get it one day. Its all ganna be alright.

HELLO there!

currently listening to some new music called Robbie Seay Band. LOVE them.

I finished up the last of my christmas shopping today! i am soo excited! i dont think ive ever been more excited about Christmas than now! i have been able to buy everyone everything or give someone something that was on my heart..with some left over!
I am just feeling SO thankful right now. I know i said before, but really, i am.
i love my friends and family! they are SO precious to me!

I hope that everyone has an amazing Christmas! love you all. :)

The Battle!

Im sitting here, finally enjoying some time off. i finished this semester with a bang, and i am very thankful. This week really challenged me and pushed me to keep going. With my dad in the hospital, and finals, and then getting the most horrible cold ever! I managed to get through it one day at a time, and i aced all of my finals except Psychology, i made a B. So i ended up making 5 A's and 1 B. i was and am very happy and thankful! i know that it was God who did it because He knew i really needed His strength this week!

Now i just done with a few Christmas cards listening to the Shane and Shane pandora station and i am just feeling really thankful right now! So thankful for His mercy in my life and for the wonderful people God has placed in my life. I am excited about this Christmas season and i want to do more than i have ever done.

I was also looking through some old stuff and i saw this scripture that is really poweful!

2 Chronicles 20:15

and He said, "Listen, all of you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, king Jehosaphat! Thus says the Lord to you:
'Do not be afraid nor dismayed because the great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but Gods.

WOW! this has been the scripture of the year for me. I have had to face a few battles in my life that i wanted to take care of my own terms, but it is never a battle that we must fight alone, God is our fighter and defender. He never ceases to amaze me! He has fought every battle for me and brought me through His timing and His wants.

Merry Early Christmas, (only 14 more days! ) Yippeeee

Rachel <3

Stronghold

Well, it is going to be one of those really crazy weeks. I have finals starting tuesday, and 5 at that. I have already begun to sort of study. thankfully, i have no tests tomorrow, so i can really take advantage of that time tomorrow to study also.

I guess the most impacting of my weekend has been that my dad had a heart attack. It was really scarey to hear, and honestly i have been really stressed about it all weekend. i am trying to depend on the Lord, but it definately isnt easy. I havent seen him in about a year or so, and he is living in south dakota, so i really cant see him. He will be in the hospital for about 2 weeks because he also has an infection on his leg from knee down. they are going to have to drain it and stuff..not pleasant. i saw the picture and its pretty bad. He is going to get the stint put in tuesday. So, if you dont mind, please pray for him and us. I dont know what is going to happend, because God is bigger plans that i could know. But i do know that God is faithful. But just pray for peace and strength in our family! it is greatly appreciated.

Psalm 9:9-10
The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
and those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, oh Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.




much love,
Rachel