God really spoke to me today and tonight. The previous blog i had complained about lazy everyone was and how we all need to change and step up. Well today at staff lunch, pastor Terry spoke about how we cant kick ourselves in the butt due to the season that we are in. There is a season for everything, rest, preparation for the harvest, and then you build up your harvest. We cannot let ourselves become guilty just because nothing is happening, or nothing is being done at the moment. We can do things, but in this season, there isnt too much you can do. i am speaking on a spiritual season of course, relating it to reality. i dont feel as guilty anymore about what i am or arent doing at the moment. there is a time and place for everything, and we cant just keep on going and going. i dont know if this make any sense, but for me, i am in a dry season it seems. i feel like i should be doing something or anything tangible for the kingdom, but im not, with the exception of the music ministry. i was thinking more of serving the homeless or something. but maybe God isnt requiring me to do that at the moment.
Also, tonight at the ladies fellowship meeting at church, God really spoke to me about growth. The devil has the purpose to stunt our growth and experiencing all that God has for us. God has so many plans for us that we cant even imagine. God wants to keep on teaching us to grow in Him from our experiences so that we can share with other people also. The storms that we go through are the times that will shape our lives and make us more mature in Christ, as we all have learned. I want to keep on going and see what God has in store for me. I have so much in my life that i would like to change, but only through Christ. He alone gives me the ability to do what i need to do. I want my life to completely be reflected in His glory. My prayer is that He continues to change my heart, because i am so selfish. I pray that my prayer life would increase and that i would influence more people that i encounter as i go through my daily routine in life. i pray that my relationships are completely Christ centered. i pray that just because i have been a christian for so many years, that i wont become dull, but brighter every day. i pray that people see His glory on me. so much to be thankful for.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
radical
Im sitting here being pretty bored right now. I had an interesting, but none the less, fun day.
Thinking about how seclusive todays society and church has become. Where is there fire in the army of God? i really dont get myself and how i am saved, and yet i keep to myself. I recently just saw a video about Keith Green and how he sought for truth that would set him free and deliver the empty hole inside of his soul. well he finally found it and it was Jesus. after that his life was radically set after God and sharing His message.
Why cant us "christians" be like that? one of my biggest struggles alone is trying to find out what God has planned for ME, and its so rough. I feel like im surrounded by people who are self-serving, including myself. we are all in the rutt of laziness, and we dont want to do anything. CAN I CHANGE THE WORLD? sure i can, but since ive been a christian for so long, i lost my motivation it seems. i wish for a church world where people served all the time and were willing to lay down their lives for the poor and needy. God commands us to preach the gospel.
so why arent we doing it, and is there anyway to change?
I WANT TO GET RADICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!
Thinking about how seclusive todays society and church has become. Where is there fire in the army of God? i really dont get myself and how i am saved, and yet i keep to myself. I recently just saw a video about Keith Green and how he sought for truth that would set him free and deliver the empty hole inside of his soul. well he finally found it and it was Jesus. after that his life was radically set after God and sharing His message.
Why cant us "christians" be like that? one of my biggest struggles alone is trying to find out what God has planned for ME, and its so rough. I feel like im surrounded by people who are self-serving, including myself. we are all in the rutt of laziness, and we dont want to do anything. CAN I CHANGE THE WORLD? sure i can, but since ive been a christian for so long, i lost my motivation it seems. i wish for a church world where people served all the time and were willing to lay down their lives for the poor and needy. God commands us to preach the gospel.
so why arent we doing it, and is there anyway to change?
I WANT TO GET RADICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
grace.
June 15, 2009
Well,God gave me a job!!! the best job in the whole world and the one that i wanted the most! Victory hired me as assistant worship leader! wow, its so amazing! About a month ago, Mike told me he had a secret about me, but couldnt tell me anymore. Wow, that bugged me so much. I very much dislike it when people get me hanging like that. Now, i was pretty clueless at the time, and tried to think nothing of it. well at the time, i was also in need of a job since i had just graduated school and all. I figured working at the church would be a great environment for me to work in, so i asked pastor kenny if they were hiring for computer work. turns out they were! GOD MOVES, because thats what mike was talking about the whole time! so wow, they ended up hiring me for maintanence on tuesdays, and on thursdays and sundays for salary! Great stuff. God also has provided scholarships for me to go to school, with some pocket change on the side! so yeah! Even though my mom is about to deal with some serious chemo, im feeling pretty strong, but only because of Him.i dont want to brag, but my life is looking pretty good right now. God has just blessed me with so many good things in my life. Great family, a home, tons and tons of free food, a job at my church, and them PAYING me to sing, great and may i say, amazing boyfriend, who is godly and strives to serve Him and put Him first above everything, payed tuition, great family and friends in church who support me and lift me up in my struggles, there is just so much. my life is great...THANK YOU GOD!
Well,God gave me a job!!! the best job in the whole world and the one that i wanted the most! Victory hired me as assistant worship leader! wow, its so amazing! About a month ago, Mike told me he had a secret about me, but couldnt tell me anymore. Wow, that bugged me so much. I very much dislike it when people get me hanging like that. Now, i was pretty clueless at the time, and tried to think nothing of it. well at the time, i was also in need of a job since i had just graduated school and all. I figured working at the church would be a great environment for me to work in, so i asked pastor kenny if they were hiring for computer work. turns out they were! GOD MOVES, because thats what mike was talking about the whole time! so wow, they ended up hiring me for maintanence on tuesdays, and on thursdays and sundays for salary! Great stuff. God also has provided scholarships for me to go to school, with some pocket change on the side! so yeah! Even though my mom is about to deal with some serious chemo, im feeling pretty strong, but only because of Him.i dont want to brag, but my life is looking pretty good right now. God has just blessed me with so many good things in my life. Great family, a home, tons and tons of free food, a job at my church, and them PAYING me to sing, great and may i say, amazing boyfriend, who is godly and strives to serve Him and put Him first above everything, payed tuition, great family and friends in church who support me and lift me up in my struggles, there is just so much. my life is great...THANK YOU GOD!
to justify
May 8th , 2009
Hm...im sitting here, thinking about life and how good God is. Theres too much to put in words, but im in awe of His wonderful grace and mercy. Numerous and countless times has He blessed me and filled me up when i needed Him the most. He is so faithful and a great Father.Church was good tonight, especially the worship, i got really intimate with the Lord and it just felt great to put all of my burdens at His feet. Ive been stressed about life lately, and its stupid because i just got out of highschool and thats the least thing i want to do right now. i just want to relax, but it just feels like theres so much to think about and get straight. like getting a job..yea that should be fun. i dont want to , but thats part of life. i pray that God will help me in that situation and that i will ok during school. it seems life would be difficult, but i kno God is going to work it out. He sees my heart and everything is tieing in together.i got asked to lead worship for an event on the 26th of may. im really stoked about this because i really truely feel this is what God has called me to do. God has put a passion in my heart to lead the generation into worship and His holy annoited presence. Its really amazing how God works in complete strangers like He did is this woman that called me. It just so amazed! wow!
Hm...im sitting here, thinking about life and how good God is. Theres too much to put in words, but im in awe of His wonderful grace and mercy. Numerous and countless times has He blessed me and filled me up when i needed Him the most. He is so faithful and a great Father.Church was good tonight, especially the worship, i got really intimate with the Lord and it just felt great to put all of my burdens at His feet. Ive been stressed about life lately, and its stupid because i just got out of highschool and thats the least thing i want to do right now. i just want to relax, but it just feels like theres so much to think about and get straight. like getting a job..yea that should be fun. i dont want to , but thats part of life. i pray that God will help me in that situation and that i will ok during school. it seems life would be difficult, but i kno God is going to work it out. He sees my heart and everything is tieing in together.i got asked to lead worship for an event on the 26th of may. im really stoked about this because i really truely feel this is what God has called me to do. God has put a passion in my heart to lead the generation into worship and His holy annoited presence. Its really amazing how God works in complete strangers like He did is this woman that called me. It just so amazed! wow!
Time flys...
April 21, 2009
Yup,The BIG DAY is May 19th. I finally graduate from high school at Central!!! Im so excited, i cant even believe its about to happen in less than a month! Im really excited about the Things of God, and to see what He has planned in my life. Thus far, its been an exciting, unforgettable journey, and as i close this chapter in my life, i will begin a new one. one word, College. Hah, yeah. Im going to Southeastern, and I just decided to change my major to vocal performance. For a long time, i had an identity crisis and just couldnt figure it out. But God really opened my eyes to know who i am in Him. It makes sense that I would study music, because i have been so involved in it my whole life, and its single most passion that God has placed in my life. Ive had many annoited people of God tell me that He wanted to use me by singing, but didnt quite believe it for a long time. I hope im not sounded boastful or anything. I just want to be the best at whatever God puts me through, and i believe no matter what, i shall find His will, and I shall glorify Him in everyway. If singing and music is the way, then so be it. I would like to start a band in the future. Im still playing guitar and writing music...but unfortunaly, not all of the music is finished. i have writers block a lot. but i plan to focus a lot of music this summer when everything is not so stressful and hopefully get a demo cd out soon.
Yup,The BIG DAY is May 19th. I finally graduate from high school at Central!!! Im so excited, i cant even believe its about to happen in less than a month! Im really excited about the Things of God, and to see what He has planned in my life. Thus far, its been an exciting, unforgettable journey, and as i close this chapter in my life, i will begin a new one. one word, College. Hah, yeah. Im going to Southeastern, and I just decided to change my major to vocal performance. For a long time, i had an identity crisis and just couldnt figure it out. But God really opened my eyes to know who i am in Him. It makes sense that I would study music, because i have been so involved in it my whole life, and its single most passion that God has placed in my life. Ive had many annoited people of God tell me that He wanted to use me by singing, but didnt quite believe it for a long time. I hope im not sounded boastful or anything. I just want to be the best at whatever God puts me through, and i believe no matter what, i shall find His will, and I shall glorify Him in everyway. If singing and music is the way, then so be it. I would like to start a band in the future. Im still playing guitar and writing music...but unfortunaly, not all of the music is finished. i have writers block a lot. but i plan to focus a lot of music this summer when everything is not so stressful and hopefully get a demo cd out soon.
it shall come to pass
March 29th, 2009
Yeah, I am using my GRADUATION present right now! (my Toshiba Laptop), it is soo nice. I love it! Life has been really good lately! .Another thing has been on my mind after my dad had called. I have once again faced pain in the eye and swallowed it once again that a man would do. I just push the hurt away and get along with it. I feel bad for him because he doesnt realize he is doing it, otherwise id say something. he pretty much talked the entire 40 minute conversation, and i really didnt get much input, he really really likes to talk a lot.but he doesnt realize that for once he needs to kind of allow me to be apart of it. i barely listened to anything he said...he just kept talking and talking.But he told me that in 2001, after the terrorist attack on the twin towers, he heard a sermon once challenging them to write down what they thought the future would look like, He said he wrote and prayed that his family would be singing throughout the land for the glory of Jesus.Now here is the wicked part.One day, i dont remember the day or date, i read the scripture in habakkuk
2 2 Then the LORD answered me and said: “ Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. 3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.
so i was thinking wow, i will definately do this. and you know what i wrote down? that i would sing with my family for thousands of people bringing them into worship bringing Glory to His name.now the sad part is, i cant find this piece of paper, but i think the Lord did it on purpose so it will be more of a revelation to me when i see it and it comes to pass. but the point is , i really dont believe too much of what my dad says, but i thought that was really weird...but awesome.
Yeah, I am using my GRADUATION present right now! (my Toshiba Laptop), it is soo nice. I love it! Life has been really good lately! .Another thing has been on my mind after my dad had called. I have once again faced pain in the eye and swallowed it once again that a man would do. I just push the hurt away and get along with it. I feel bad for him because he doesnt realize he is doing it, otherwise id say something. he pretty much talked the entire 40 minute conversation, and i really didnt get much input, he really really likes to talk a lot.but he doesnt realize that for once he needs to kind of allow me to be apart of it. i barely listened to anything he said...he just kept talking and talking.But he told me that in 2001, after the terrorist attack on the twin towers, he heard a sermon once challenging them to write down what they thought the future would look like, He said he wrote and prayed that his family would be singing throughout the land for the glory of Jesus.Now here is the wicked part.One day, i dont remember the day or date, i read the scripture in habakkuk
2 2 Then the LORD answered me and said: “ Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. 3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.
so i was thinking wow, i will definately do this. and you know what i wrote down? that i would sing with my family for thousands of people bringing them into worship bringing Glory to His name.now the sad part is, i cant find this piece of paper, but i think the Lord did it on purpose so it will be more of a revelation to me when i see it and it comes to pass. but the point is , i really dont believe too much of what my dad says, but i thought that was really weird...but awesome.
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