Today was a fun day. I woke up at 2:20pm though, lol. I have been doing that a lot lately. I need to retrain my sleeping habits. It felt really good to play some tennis with Katelyn, it really pumped my energy level! I never do any cardio so that helped a lot. I think i have been doing pretty good on my diet, a lot of people are noticing that i have lost weight! That really encourages me!!! I went to the movies..yet again, and saw Prince of Persia for the 2nd time with Nathanael and some friends. I really like that movie! But now i get home, and my mind is free to wonder and think..which i dont like! Not right now anyways...I like to keep myself busy so i dont think about the past. So here i am now, trying to get it off my mind. I find that there is A LOT of things that God wants to do for me and with me..and it is going to take a lot of time im afraid. I have always been one to just take what i had and move on with it..but this is different. It is not going to be that easy for me to just live a normal life. My normal life is being changed into something else.
I guess what i mean to say by that is that God is changing my path and He is changing my heart and mind that will affect my future and day to day activites. And it is going to take a while. I just wish i could get on with it...but it is in these moments with God that are the most beautiful and the most cherished. I will look back on it one day and be really thankful. But for now, i am struggling, mentally and spiritually. I do know that God has blessed me so much. It is just hard to accept the way things are right now, accepting that my life is no longer the same, and that God is doing something in my life right now that i cannot begin to understand nor fathom. I pray that i continue to fight the good fight.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Good Morning to All.
Today is just one of those nights...
unfortunately, its not a good thing.
Its 2:03 am..wow.
Have you ever felt like when you went through something, people sympathized with you for the time being, but then as time went on...people went back to their daily lives? But, for the other, their world was still not normal. Like, everyones world has gone back to normal but yours. yeah...
My world is far from being normal anytime soon..but there is always hope for those who trust in the Lord. And i love my Daddy, my Abba Father.
unfortunately, its not a good thing.
Its 2:03 am..wow.
Have you ever felt like when you went through something, people sympathized with you for the time being, but then as time went on...people went back to their daily lives? But, for the other, their world was still not normal. Like, everyones world has gone back to normal but yours. yeah...
My world is far from being normal anytime soon..but there is always hope for those who trust in the Lord. And i love my Daddy, my Abba Father.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Summer is finally here!!! I am so happy!
But before i splurge on that, i want to apologize for writing such a judging blog. I re read it just now, and it didnt seem like something Christ would say. It was not my intention to sound self-righteous or to talk bad about anyone, i just get so stirred up when it comes to things like that. But i realized this week, that I< MYSELF, am NO BETTER than anyone else in this world. I should dare not compare myself to the broken and messed up people, because in the end, i am just as messed up, just as much as a sinner as the rest. I have no right to point fingers and spit and people. Ok, so i didnt spit at anyone, but im sure thats how people would feel.
So yeah, I pray that God would continue to change my heart, change my love, change my life for the sake of others around me.
Summer Time :
I am loving it beyond words so far! It is so awesome just to have a break and relax. I am still getting used to the fact that i have no school to worry about for a few months. I was always used to the thought of thinking "Hm, what homework, or what do i need to study for, or what paper do i need to write" blah blah blha. Im glad thats over for a while, and i passed my finals by Gods grace alone. literally, THAT was pretty evident. haha.
We just got done with our Ladies bible study, and i cannot express the gratitude i have for Jennifer Curkis (sp_>). God has and is doing so many things in my life right now, and this bible study for a gateway into stepping into something amazing. Something so amazing, that i cannot even understand right now. I can feel God and His holy spirit doing something so incredible inside of me that words cannot express. Even when i feel like the darkness is all around me, He isthere and He is doing something in my heart. I love how God does that. But especially now. It gives me courage and hope to know that He really does have my back, and that He truely does love me beyond measure.
God is changing my heart, and growing it more and more as i seek His face. I am starting to feel His presence more heavily in my life, and it is making me want to do so much for Him. I have so many things that i want to do for Him, to make His name known, to show people who He is, to enter into His presence with His people. I cant wait to see what God has in store. He has already begun to do something amazing.
In Christ alone,
RachelRay
But before i splurge on that, i want to apologize for writing such a judging blog. I re read it just now, and it didnt seem like something Christ would say. It was not my intention to sound self-righteous or to talk bad about anyone, i just get so stirred up when it comes to things like that. But i realized this week, that I< MYSELF, am NO BETTER than anyone else in this world. I should dare not compare myself to the broken and messed up people, because in the end, i am just as messed up, just as much as a sinner as the rest. I have no right to point fingers and spit and people. Ok, so i didnt spit at anyone, but im sure thats how people would feel.
So yeah, I pray that God would continue to change my heart, change my love, change my life for the sake of others around me.
Summer Time :
I am loving it beyond words so far! It is so awesome just to have a break and relax. I am still getting used to the fact that i have no school to worry about for a few months. I was always used to the thought of thinking "Hm, what homework, or what do i need to study for, or what paper do i need to write" blah blah blha. Im glad thats over for a while, and i passed my finals by Gods grace alone. literally, THAT was pretty evident. haha.
We just got done with our Ladies bible study, and i cannot express the gratitude i have for Jennifer Curkis (sp_>). God has and is doing so many things in my life right now, and this bible study for a gateway into stepping into something amazing. Something so amazing, that i cannot even understand right now. I can feel God and His holy spirit doing something so incredible inside of me that words cannot express. Even when i feel like the darkness is all around me, He isthere and He is doing something in my heart. I love how God does that. But especially now. It gives me courage and hope to know that He really does have my back, and that He truely does love me beyond measure.
God is changing my heart, and growing it more and more as i seek His face. I am starting to feel His presence more heavily in my life, and it is making me want to do so much for Him. I have so many things that i want to do for Him, to make His name known, to show people who He is, to enter into His presence with His people. I cant wait to see what God has in store. He has already begun to do something amazing.
In Christ alone,
RachelRay
Saturday, May 15, 2010
deep
Im feeling deep today. Lately, i have just been observing a lot of people and looking at situations and everyting to me seems so superficial. It is really depressing to get to know someone and know who they truely are, and they act different because of who they are with. Or say they are one thing, but they act another. I dont understand this concept at all..but i guess i should. People put up their fronts for a reason. But what about when it comes to religion? People are willing to go to a certain church on sunday but listen to trash on the way there. When is there a line? Where are the boundaries? It just aggravates me a lot. More than anything though, i feel sorry and have compassion for these people are so lost in this world. It is eye opening to see the real world sometimes...what i mean by that is that, im so used to being the church world, that i forget about what it really is out there. The music, the way people dress, and the way they act are constanting evolving to a higher expectation and level.
When will there be respect to our Holy God? My prayer today begins that He would show me how to show the reference of God in peoples lives without condeming them. Out of love , and not hatred. How did Jesus make this his life? I, myself am sometimes caught up in this church world that we have, but i want to reach out, but its not always easy. God please show me how to do this...
When will there be respect to our Holy God? My prayer today begins that He would show me how to show the reference of God in peoples lives without condeming them. Out of love , and not hatred. How did Jesus make this his life? I, myself am sometimes caught up in this church world that we have, but i want to reach out, but its not always easy. God please show me how to do this...
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Not my own
this week is going to be a rough week with finals coming up next week. Im actually taking a study break now..i have 2 lab finals tomorrow,back to back!eeek! I hope God opens up my understanding! I need to do good on these tests!
God has been speaking to me through different people and things, sermons, etc I have never experienced something like this before. He keeps confirming the same words to me, over and over again in the same week. this week it was a different message, something that i needed. But before i tell you this week, let me tell you last week. Basically, God just kept on telling me and showing me His ultimate love for me. He spoke it through bible study, and sermon after sermon. It is so amazing how God sees our pain, and comforts us through people and His word. This week, i was struggling with trying to understand why, what, and how. I couldnt/cant figure it out, and it just put me in more pain. It hurts a lot sometimes, not understanding why things happen the way they do, and there have been so many unanswered questions in my heart. But all throughout the week, i have seen this one verse.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:
Ive seen it and heard it everywhere this week, and i was totally expecting it to be preached on this morning!! and you know what, pastor terry did! It makes me smile and fills me with joy that God REALLY does care and love for me. He only wants the best for me. though i cannot understand why this things are happening, i am not supposed to understand, but trust in God.
Without faith, it is impossible to please God..Hebrews 11:6
I pray God continues to do work in me, i cant wait to see what He has in store for me.
i also cannot wait till finals are over so i can really focus on music and life...
God has been speaking to me through different people and things, sermons, etc I have never experienced something like this before. He keeps confirming the same words to me, over and over again in the same week. this week it was a different message, something that i needed. But before i tell you this week, let me tell you last week. Basically, God just kept on telling me and showing me His ultimate love for me. He spoke it through bible study, and sermon after sermon. It is so amazing how God sees our pain, and comforts us through people and His word. This week, i was struggling with trying to understand why, what, and how. I couldnt/cant figure it out, and it just put me in more pain. It hurts a lot sometimes, not understanding why things happen the way they do, and there have been so many unanswered questions in my heart. But all throughout the week, i have seen this one verse.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:
Ive seen it and heard it everywhere this week, and i was totally expecting it to be preached on this morning!! and you know what, pastor terry did! It makes me smile and fills me with joy that God REALLY does care and love for me. He only wants the best for me. though i cannot understand why this things are happening, i am not supposed to understand, but trust in God.
Without faith, it is impossible to please God..Hebrews 11:6
I pray God continues to do work in me, i cant wait to see what He has in store for me.
i also cannot wait till finals are over so i can really focus on music and life...
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