if i could be so blount

I made a few bruises, ive broken a few bones, and made some cuts, but ive always gotten better. ive always healed, and stood back up. Lately, ive been trying to stand up again after a few bruises. Its left me wondering about myself and who i am, and who will i be. The truth is, i really dont have a clue. So where does that leave me now?

I wish there was an answer to the biggest mysteries of life sometimes, why did this happen the way it did. But i know that answer would change everything, so here i am keeping hold of the faith which drives me to keep moving forward.

we all have our weaknessess, and i certainly have mine. im not better than anyone else in this world, and i could feel the least in most cases. Most days, my weakness challenges me mind, body, and spirit, and sometimes it wins me over. But there is always a new day, where grace is sufficient in weakness.

i guess what im trying to say is, that i really want to move forward, sometimes even just walk away forever and never look back. Because somewhere down along the way, i got hit hard, i know its partially my fault. my weakness challenged me, and directed my direction, atmosphere, and surroundings.

God knows we are imperfect, He knows we fall, certainly way too many to count, for myself, atleast. How is God going to use this weakness of mine? I know it is the thorn that is always there, and i know i shall overcome it. but when and how.
I know that He is good, good to those who love Him, and i so dearly love my Father.
I cant really even believe that He loves me through the times ive turned my back.

so, where does this leave me? dont really know. But i know that He will use this weakness of mine somehow, someway. but until then...hmm...

try and worship with my life, what ive always done, what i always will do. No matter how many people, bruises, cuts, hurt, pain, confusion. I will get it one day. Its all ganna be alright.

HELLO there!

currently listening to some new music called Robbie Seay Band. LOVE them.

I finished up the last of my christmas shopping today! i am soo excited! i dont think ive ever been more excited about Christmas than now! i have been able to buy everyone everything or give someone something that was on my heart..with some left over!
I am just feeling SO thankful right now. I know i said before, but really, i am.
i love my friends and family! they are SO precious to me!

I hope that everyone has an amazing Christmas! love you all. :)

The Battle!

Im sitting here, finally enjoying some time off. i finished this semester with a bang, and i am very thankful. This week really challenged me and pushed me to keep going. With my dad in the hospital, and finals, and then getting the most horrible cold ever! I managed to get through it one day at a time, and i aced all of my finals except Psychology, i made a B. So i ended up making 5 A's and 1 B. i was and am very happy and thankful! i know that it was God who did it because He knew i really needed His strength this week!

Now i just done with a few Christmas cards listening to the Shane and Shane pandora station and i am just feeling really thankful right now! So thankful for His mercy in my life and for the wonderful people God has placed in my life. I am excited about this Christmas season and i want to do more than i have ever done.

I was also looking through some old stuff and i saw this scripture that is really poweful!

2 Chronicles 20:15

and He said, "Listen, all of you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, king Jehosaphat! Thus says the Lord to you:
'Do not be afraid nor dismayed because the great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but Gods.

WOW! this has been the scripture of the year for me. I have had to face a few battles in my life that i wanted to take care of my own terms, but it is never a battle that we must fight alone, God is our fighter and defender. He never ceases to amaze me! He has fought every battle for me and brought me through His timing and His wants.

Merry Early Christmas, (only 14 more days! ) Yippeeee

Rachel <3

Stronghold

Well, it is going to be one of those really crazy weeks. I have finals starting tuesday, and 5 at that. I have already begun to sort of study. thankfully, i have no tests tomorrow, so i can really take advantage of that time tomorrow to study also.

I guess the most impacting of my weekend has been that my dad had a heart attack. It was really scarey to hear, and honestly i have been really stressed about it all weekend. i am trying to depend on the Lord, but it definately isnt easy. I havent seen him in about a year or so, and he is living in south dakota, so i really cant see him. He will be in the hospital for about 2 weeks because he also has an infection on his leg from knee down. they are going to have to drain it and stuff..not pleasant. i saw the picture and its pretty bad. He is going to get the stint put in tuesday. So, if you dont mind, please pray for him and us. I dont know what is going to happend, because God is bigger plans that i could know. But i do know that God is faithful. But just pray for peace and strength in our family! it is greatly appreciated.

Psalm 9:9-10
The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
and those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, oh Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.




much love,
Rachel

Well, I am officially on my thanksgiving break and i have time to do nothing for once. I love that...
Life has been flying by lately, i havent really gotten a chance to smell the roses lately. But thank God for inventing Thanksgiving, if not, i would have gone insane by now. I went shopping today and got .5% of my christmas shopping done. As always, its the most wonderful time of the year. It is going to be a different year this year, but it always is every year. I am so thankful for everyone and everything in my life.
I really have not decided or found out what i want to graduate in yet..which is really really stressful for me, but im just taking it day by day. I am taking an intro to photography class next semester and i am super excited about it. I havent been excited about a class..in...well i think this is the first time. So maybe this is what God wants? who knows. I hate that i like photography cause it seems like its the really popular thing right now. I am certainly not doing it because everyone else is doing it, but i really genuily just like taking pictures. I actually imagine different scenarios in my weird brain of things to take pictures of sometimes.

As i get older, i start to see how artsy i really am, and how unlogical, mathematical, i am not. I belong in the music, singing, songwriting, artsy world. I have always been like that! no point in hiding it! :D

currently, i am listening to Brooke frasers new album, flags. Its pretty neato.

I am very thankful for all the awesome people i have met this semester as well. I feel like i was really in my box last semester, but God really opened the door for me to meet some awesome, godly people.

Christmas is just around the corner!

and i have been through the single commitment for almost 2 months now!! I am so proud, it hasnt been easy though, ill tell you that. But God has definately been teaching me a lot of stuff!

God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving!

Rachel Ray

A time for everything

God allows us to go through trials and temptations. I believe that He also never gives us anything we cannot handle. God is really bringing me through a hard time in my life, and it has constantly challenged me to depend and trust on Him alone. This time, I really can't understand how or why, but I know that I will come out better and more refined. I am thankful that His mercy is new every morning, ready for me to take complete hold of. I know that the more I give, the more i will receive. So I pray and encourage you that yu aren't alone in this fight. God has a beautiful purpose and we will come out stronger than ever. God has some great things in store, but we are going to have to get rid of ourselves. This is worship. Lets worship with our lives. :) thanks for reading and God bless. :)

What faith produces

God has really been teaching me a lot about brokenness these past 5 or 6 months. I think after i got out of my last relationship, God kind of opened Himself up to me in a whole new way, and also revealed myself to ..well myself in a way that i never knew. He has been taking the really messy, ugly parts and just throwing them on the table for me to look at. It is definitely not an easy process, but deep down, it is my prayer that God would refine me everyday, no matter what the cost. I am definitely feeling the Refiners fire and have been for a few months now. but i know that God is faithful. If i can count on one thing, its that God loves me and that He is for me. I can honestly say that i am thankful for the brokenness that God has given me lately, because i know it produces righteousness. I have been taking comfort a few nights in a row by just running outside and gazing at the stars. I have gotten the understanding that not everything has to be understood, but just knowing that God in all His might sees me, loves me, and has a wonderful plan. I cant wait to see what God has in store. For those of you who are going through any kind of brokenness, just know that God is for you, because He is your maker. one day everything will make sense, but we must fight the good fight and endure the race with faith. Because faith produces patience.